Unfinished Business

Reflections of John 19

This chapter was written by Christopher M. Leighton, Executive Director of ICJS.

“One of the most unsettling preoccupations of the dying revolves around questions regarding survivors. ‘Will the family hold together? Will they be able to manage the loss? Will they be OK in the years and the decades ahead?’”

Discussion and study questions:

• If “letting go” is beyond the abilities of an Alzheimer’s patient, then the work of redefining the contours of the “extended” family may fall on health care providers, religious caregivers, friends, indeed, the broader community, as well as on the immediate members of the family. How does the story in John help us reframe our obligations to care for the dying?

• And when should we begin to attend to our own unfinished business? If not now, when?